What is Trauma?
We can all experience deeply distressing or challenging circumstances in life, however some of the defining characteristics of trauma include intense fear, helplessness, or horror that interfere with our ability to function over an extended period of time.
EMDR recognizes both “Big T” and “little t” traumas, meaning some clients arrive at therapy scarred by major life-altering events, such as a natural disaster, violent crime, or the unexpected loss of a loved one; other clients are burdened by a collection of less-severe but still damaging incidents stemming from things like lengthy periods of emotional abuse, neglect, familial dysfunction, or chronic stress in their environment.
Nobody else can define your trauma but you. Many clients wrestle with the lie that what they experienced wasn’t “bad enough” to warrant therapeutic attention. Some clients even feel guilty for seeking therapy, out of fear they are taking away resources from someone with greater need.
Please remember that your pain is valid and you deserve support, regardless of how long ago or how severe your experience was.
What is Betrayal Trauma?
There are different categories of trauma including medical trauma, combat trauma, and childhood trauma. Betrayal trauma is unique as it involves a significant violation or rupture within a close and trusting relationship in way that deconstructs one’s sense of self. In general, this includes things like sexual infidelity, large scale financial deception, or institutional subterfuge.
In my experience, trauma occurs most often in the context of relationships; it also heals best in the context of relationships.
How Does Trauma Therapy Work?
The opposite of trauma is safety, empowerment, and joy. The purpose of therapy is to shift the focus onto these things. Your healing and growth belong to you. The only thing necessary for individual recovery is the ability to learn new things. Your progress is not contingent on whether the person who harmed you acknowledges what happened, asks for forgiveness, or even feels sorry.
In trauma recovery, clients set the pace and I guide them through the four phases of healing outlined in the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model developed by APSATS. This begins with safety and stabilization, then moves into anger, grief, and mourning. Next comes reconnection and restoration, followed by post-traumatic growth. I incorporate EMDR into this framework to alleviate distress and resolve targets as efficiently as possible.
What Should I Expect In Trauma Therapy?
Whether you are addressing a recent traumatic experience or desire to heal old wounds from the past, trauma work tends to be intense and is often very emotional. Snot, tears, and Kleenex are normal!
I encourage clients create margin in their lives to allow for reflection, increased self-care, and therapeutic exercises in between sessions. Clients do best when they have safe community as they heal; for many this means participating in a support group of fellow survivors. The journey is never easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.